Often, we force ourselves to make compromises we don’t want to make because we are not assertive enough.

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Being assertive means standing up for your rights, speaking up when you must, and having the confidence to do what you believe is right for you. Assertiveness is often confused with arrogance or aggression. It is neither. Being assertive means not treading upon other people’s rights while not allowing others to tread upon your rights. It is a balance that needs to be re-established by you when others disturb it to your disadvantage.

Gaining Control

Usually, people that are not assertive find it difficult to stick to their decision or perspective in face of opposition. That leads to compromise, which is not in their favour. It almost always leads to negative feelings either towards oneself or the other person. To avoid such a situation, being able to assert yourself is essential.

When you are not assertive, you lose control and give it to the other person. Even though that may not be always disadvantageous for you, it is vital that you know when it is. A simple instance is your colleagues, friends or family pushing you to do something that you hate doing. If you have strong feelings about something, you believe that your judgment is sound, or your preferences are being compromised, then you must be assertive enough to stick to your decision. Making compromises or adjustments that you are unhappy with will have negative consequences for you. Therefore, know when to put your foot down and when to allow others to take control.

Become Active and Avoid Passive

Mostly, shy, introverted or easygoing people are passive. If that is your natural trait, it might not always harm you, but if a situation demands the opposite, you should be able to switch over to being assertive.

To become more assertive, you need to actively participate in discussions or situations that will have an impact on your life. If you are seen as passive by others, your views and decisions are more likely to be taken lightly by others. The more active you are, the more you are able to control the direction of discussions and talks that will affect you.

Advantages of Being Assertive

Practising assertiveness makes you more confident and in control of your life. Assertiveness must always be coupled with sound judgment. If you do this, you will enjoy many benefits, including:

• The feeling of empowerment
• Greater confidence
• More positivity
• Better control
• An improved personality
• Less anger, resentment, self-pity
• Improved decision-making

Being firm on your principles and choices will positively impact your life and personality. Assertiveness is a necessary quality that must be used to gain back control of your life when it benefits you.

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